The Beauty of Becoming: Finding Pleasure in the Process

Deriving pleasure in the process rather than the progress.

Yesterday evening, I was sitting on my little grey loveseat couch drinking Mark Tarbell’s wine – I highly recommend joining his wine club, Cha Cha Mouche, absolutely delicious.

(I moved back into my little condo nestled in the village of Shirlington yesterday. Over the last two years, it has served as a haven for traveling nurses and the military, as I have been traveling myself. Beginning today, I have put myself on ‘house arrest’ these next 3-4 weeks – at least – for the purpose of focus and stillness.)

The scene before me was uninteresting at best but faithful to teaching me yet another lesson.

The TV screen was turned off, void of distraction, and my two shelves, minimally decorated with a painting on one, and candles, a small plant, and two small wooden signs with the following respective inscriptions on the other:

✨ “It is not happy people who are thankful, but thankful people who are happy.”
✨ “Grateful”

There I sat, studying the first of the two little signs.

Then it hit me: Of the same experience, we can choose to see the lack or the gain.

Considering loss

The fixation on the lack of presence can feel overwhelming, even crippling.


The fixation on the gain of their presence once keenly felt; what a gift! What a deeply rich blessing to have known.

Considering finances

There are frequent discussions surrounding scarcity vs. abundance mindsets.

I love what Sarah Prout wrote: “True abundance is feeling worthy enough to believe beyond what you can see. Expect miracles and they will manifest.

And this beautiful concept of abundance extends beyond finances.

Considering self

An abundance mindset is predicated on worthiness.

I contend that worthiness is a fundamental posture of this ‘gain’ view of and toward self, as opposed to fixating on one’s lack.

Choosing to be powered by the potential for the beauty and goodness of who we are becoming rather than powered by the loathing or lack of who we currently are not.

Considering progress

Measuring success by how close we are to the finish line ultimately positions us to focus on the lack thereof → the distance until arrival.

However, adjusting perspective to measure success by the quality of the process toward the end goal allows for a semblance of enjoyment in the present moment.

Suddenly, we are transformed, with eyes to see the small moments that conjure ordinary life. Deriving pleasure from the mundane because we delight in the process of becoming.

Lack vs. Gain is not black and white, especially when considering matters of the heart.

Yet, the beauty lies in our choice.

It is within our power and reach to assume control over our perspective and choose with utmost intention the lens through which we see the world.

Allowing juxtaposition, when necessary, as both lack and gain can and do coexist.

But which will win?

With what perspective do we move through each day: Lack or Gain?

One of my dearest friends sent me The Gap and The Gain in 2023.

I have two books ahead of this in my queue; however, I sense this will be a lesson I will be cultivating during this new season undergirded by a quietness of sorts.

Choosing to see the gain in every respective.

After all, it is our choice.